How to Say No to Being a Bridesmaid

Hi friends! Being asked to be a bridesmaid for a close friend or family member’s wedding is a huge honor but sometimes it’s just not possible to make the commitment. Whatever the reason, it can be difficult to figure out how exactly to break the news to the bride. If you’re in this tricky situation, here are a few of my top tips:

  • Have an open, honest conversation. Be gentle, but honest and direct about your reasoning. Is it financial? Or that you simply don’t have enough time to devote the energy she deserves? She’ll understand.
  • Tell the bride ASAP. She’s probably depending on you for a lot of wedding-related things. As soon as you have an inkling that you can’t make the commitment, let her know so you don’t leave her in a bind.
  • Try to let her down in person. If you’re long distance, do it in a phone call. Just don’t break the news in an impersonal text or email. You don’t want to risk things getting misinterpreted.
  • Offer to take on an alternative role. If you can’t commit to being a part of the wedding party, offer to take on a more minor role that honors your friendship but doesn’t carry all the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid. You can offer to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner, help plan the bachelorette party or even do something as simple as man the guest book at the reception.

Good luck!




Header image by Amy and Stuart Photography